


Have Been and Always

by idolatry



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 07:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20560370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idolatry/pseuds/idolatry
Summary: In every universe, Khan's awakening spells doom for the crew of the Enterprise.A reimagining of Into Darkness; the movie that should have been.





	Have Been and Always

**Author's Note:**

> idk if anyone will read this but here's my opinion which if you clicked on the story link and are still reading this you did ask for: Into Darkness missed the heart of Wrath of Khan by so wide a margin that I am still angry and also I'm rewriting the damn thing to be an actual elegant reflection of what may be my favorite movie of all time.
> 
> I don't do this for my real life so updates may be slow or never, but please enjoy what's here and believe me that I have the whole plot drawn up, just not written (yet).

“Spock! Have you seen the captain?”

The first officer, who had been “relaxing” in the astrophys lab by tinkering with a model of the interaction of a dark matter storm with linear time, looked up from his holoschematic and blandly offered, “As beta shift is nearly over, I would presume to find him retiring to his quarters, and not in the science labs, Doctor.”

McCoy’s grimace deepened. “No help from you. Fine.” He began to storm away, but continued shouting over his shoulder. “But if you see him, you tell him from me, he’s in for an ass-whooping!” Spock returned to his model without deigning to reply. His eyes discreetly followed the doctor’s form through the windows as he walked down the hall and into the turbolift. Once the turbolift doors had shut with McCoy inside, Spock cleared his throat.

Captain James T. Kirk stood from his crouch behind one of the workstations to Spock’s right. “Thank you, Spock,” he said, smiling, and patting Spock’s shoulder briefly.

“Thanks are unnecessary, as I too derive a certain satisfaction from frustrating Doctor McCoy. But, Jim,” he said as the captain moved toward the door, “why are you avoiding him?”

Kirk paused, then sighed. “He wants to celebrate my birthday, I think.”

“And you do not?”

A wry smile. “It’s never been a particularly good day for my family.”

Spock looked back down at his model, made an adjustment. “I see. Does the doctor know how you feel about this?”

“Of course he does,” Kirk said resignedly, and sat down in one of the nearby chairs. He made a vague gesture with his hands. “And that psych degree of his makes him think he needs to _fix_ my birthday attitude. Make new memories, et cetera.”

Spock nodded. “That is a viable treatment for inhibiting the effects of traumatic events.”

“It’s unnecessary. Birthday parties aren’t mandatory. Some species, like yours, don’t celebrate at all!”

“Vulcans do not,” Spock agreed. “But you are not Vulcan.”

“No.” The look Kirk gave him clearly meant, _Neither are you_, but Kirk had learned much since they had started their mission, and politely left it unsaid. “I do understand, okay. It’s a good idea to face this thing, to put it behind me… Just not this year,” he finished, his voice nearly a whisper.

_This year?_ Spock realized, too late, how old Kirk would be this year. “The same age your father was when he died.”

Kirk said nothing.

“My mother was 48,” Spock said softly. “It has crossed my mind that turning 48, and then 49, will be difficult for me. I grieve with you, Jim.”

Kirk nodded in thanks, then sighed again and stood. “Anyway, I’d better keep moving, in case Bones suspects we’re in cahoots.”

“If I may,” Spock said, also standing, “There is a difficult personnel issue I could use your help addressing, Captain.”

Kirk’s eyes widened. “Of course. Is there a need for disciplinary action?”

“I do not believe so,” Spock said thoughtfully. “Perhaps you could come with me, and the crewman can explain themselves?”

Kirk nodded bemusedly. “Can you give me any briefing?”

“Hm,” Spock said, still thoughtful as they walked into the turbolift. “This person has had difficulty communicating when they are struggling with a problem, are prone to bouts of irritation, and sometimes neglect their physical health by skipping meals, or sleeping too little.”

They exited the turbolift and Kirk said, “They sound a little depressed, Spock. Some time off might do some good. Do they have friends on board?”

Spock nodded stolidly. “I have reached out to them, as a matter of course.” He halted, and Kirk stopped with him.

Kirk said, “This is Rec Room 1.”

Spock nodded again, loosely clasping his hands behind his back. “Indeed.” There was noise as of many people speaking and laughing coming through the door. Spock said, “Perhaps I should mention that I agree with Doctor McCoy’s assessment and prescription for your, shall we say, birthday blues.”

Kirk stared at the door as the pieces came together in his head. “It’s… me. I’m the difficult crewman?” He whirled to glare at Spock. “Me? I haven’t skipped any meals!” Spock lowered his chin and continued to regard him placidly. “Well. I’ve been sleeping just fine!” Spock lifted an eyebrow. Kirk turned away, scoffing, but Spock caught his arm.

“Jim. I agree with Doctor McCoy, but given that this particular birthday is unusual, I will not insist, as I had previously intended, that you go through this door.” He released his arm, keeping steady eye contact with Kirk. “You are my captain, and you are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.”

Kirk closed his eyes tight, as if in pain, and Spock wondered if he had said something wrong. He reached out to touch Kirk’s arm again, and Kirk reached blindly back and found his wrist. “Okay, weird, okay,” Kirk said, breathing deeply and blinking as though he had lost his sight. Spock’s concern grew.

“Captain?”

“I’m okay,” Kirk said and smiled at him, but swayed a little. “Had a sudden, uh, headache, but it’s gone now.”

Spock tilted his head and allowed Kirk to hang onto his arm. “A headache?”

“Yeah.” Kirk breathed deeply again, and then looked again at the door to Rec Room 1. “How many people did you invite?”

Still pondering Kirk’s whirlwind headache, Spock said, “I was not in charge of the invitations.” At Kirk’s easy laugh, he relaxed, and continued, “That was Lieutenant Sulu’s task. But many of the crew will come regardless of invitation, Captain,” he said, disregarding the desire to smile. “They will want to wish you well.”

“And everybody loves a party.” Kirk shrugged and finally released Spock’s wrist, straightening his uniform. “Sorry about that. You’ve convinced me — let’s get this party started.”

Then he smiled brilliantly at Spock and stepped toward the door, which slid open to reveal a room packed with people turning to see who the newcomer was. At their collective recognition of their captain, the crowd let out a cheer, and many of them moved toward the door to greet him. Spock could hear McCoy shouting somewhere deeper within the crowd, and though his words were lost in the hubbub, the relief in his voice was clear. Still ignoring the smile lurking beneath his Vulcan control, Spock did let himself feel a little of the warmth that usually came with interacting with his captain. A battle had been won, and his friend would be better for it. He would put the headache out of his mind for now.

“Spock!” Kirk called out to him from within. “What were you in charge of?”

He straightened and lifted his eyebrow again. “You, sir.”

Kirk threw his head back, and his laugh was loud and bright.


End file.
